Tuesday, 19 August 2014

(Comedian's) Cock Riff

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Have you ever seen one of Louis C.K.'s comedy routines? I stumbled upon one last night as I was channel surfing. I've never been much of a fan, but this time he happened to be in the middle of a riff on sucking dick and masturbation. Well, needless to say, I had to stay tuned.
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He said he'd never seen a cock that he liked enough to suck - unless it was Ewan MacGregor, then he wouldn't hesitate, he'd be all over it.
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Made me wonder when he'd seen Ewan's dick.
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Maybe it was in a gym somewhere and he got a peek under the towel.
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In his bit about jacking off, he said "At first I used two fingers and my thumb - because no one teaches you how to jerk off. Then I saw a guy using his whole hand, and I thought, wow! brilliant! ..." (I'm paraphrasing, of course.)
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He had a friend he jacked off with - the guy liked to sandwich his cock between hard surfaces and had Louis sit on his ass to increase the pressure. Louis had the forethought to at least announce to the audience not to do that; "Too much pressure can damage your cock. Really." Bravo! man, bravo!
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Then he talked about getting older and jacking off versus hand jobs from his girlfriends and wife. No comparison. Yep. His wife didn't want to have sex, didn't want to suck his cock, and offered him a hand job. He said, in order to cum he had to wrap his hand over hers. Typical. Sorry, ladies, but you know it's true. Despite what porn may portray, you have no real interest in jacking us off - and it shows. And, I wonder if you have any interest in our cocks at all.
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10 (Of course, I would have spelled Masturbation correctly)
Having a buddy to whack willies with is so much more satisfying.
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